The Dream Pill (2 of 4)
Kevin in a dream
eight
I sat at the hotel bar I recalled from our last meeting.
Diane perched on the seat beside me, grasping a delicate glass filled with something blue. She smiled as she focused on a tiny umbrella she twirled between her slender fingers.
“Diane?” I said, still somewhat perplexed.
She looked up. “Kevin?” Her smile vanished for an instant, yet the joy in her eyes remained. “Is that you?”
“Surprised?” I stared at her, scarcely believing my good fortune.
She hadn’t changed a bit. Perhaps her eyes showed a few wrinkles I hadn’t noticed before, but it was the same woman who had captivated me years ago. Her mouth curved around the straw as she took a sip of the deep blue liquid, her piercing gaze never leaving me for a second.
I motioned for the bartender, who already knew what I wanted without me having to say it.
“You’re here.” Diane’s hungry eyes devoured me whole.
“I am,” I said, my voice laced with caution. How did one speak to a girl in a dream?
She laughed, her pearly teeth sparkling. Her joyous laughter was as I remembered it from our first meeting at the conference. “We haven’t seen each other for an eternity. You walked out on me last time.” She gave me a disapproving look.
Damn, she was stunning. She had that enigmatic expression that left me unsure if she was being serious or jesting. I always had to use my wit in our conversations to avoid being fooled by her, but I adored smart women. Her figure, slim and toned, was the same. Only her breasts seemed fuller than before, fitting well into the blue dress.
She had to be as I remembered her—it was my memory that manifested her in the dream. But the more mature look was intriguing—as if my unconscious took into account the time that had elapsed. The fuller breasts likely mirrored my unmet desires.
I took a hearty swig from my glass, relishing the familiar taste of the cold liquid, mixed to perfection, and dismissed the image of Fiona sleeping in our bed. I focused on Diane instead. “I called and texted you later, yet you didn’t respond,” I said. “I suspected you were mad because of my… indisposition that night.”
It wasn’t indisposition—I simply couldn’t cheat on my wife. When Diane wouldn’t answer, I felt a sense of relief, as I knew further contact would be devastating to my marriage. Since our research was over, there was no need for us to talk professionally. It must have stayed suppressed in my subconscious until now, as it resurfaced in my dream, making me feel guilty again.
“Let’s not talk about it.” Her signature grin warmed me all over. “It’s good that you’re here now.” She touched my knee, sending a shiver through my body. “You haven’t changed at all. The years have only made you more attractive.”
“I’m still a teenager, apparently.” I recalled Fiona’s words.
“That’s perfect. The experience of age with the energy of a teenager. You won’t bore me in bed.”
In bed? Was she serious, or was this just a dream? Of course, it was a dream. My dream. So why shouldn’t it go the way I wanted?
“Is this what you want?” I asked, my eyes locked on hers.
She reached up, her drink in one hand, and undid three buttons on my shirt. Then she traced her finger across my chest, eliciting an involuntary tremble. “We can ruminate about the past or we can make up for what we left unfinished. We need to solve our little problem before I have to lose you again.” She gulped down the rest of her drink and put the glass on the counter. If she brought up the Zeigarnik Effect right now, I wouldn’t be surprised. But she leaned over, gave me a quick kiss, then jumped off the seat. “Do you want to keep drinking, or shall we go up?”
“Up?”
“To my room, of course.”
I abandoned my drink and grabbed Diane’s chin, pulling her lips to mine. Our kiss lasted a full minute before I finally let go.
nine
Diane kept her distance from me in the elevator, her inquisitive eyes watching my every move. Her dress cut off just above her knees, showing off her slender legs. I felt the tension between us intensifying, as if she were trying to gauge the night’s outcome.
When we reached her floor, I followed her along the corridor, admiring how her buttocks moved the thin fabric of her dress in time with each step.
Instead of a single room, we entered a lavish suite. My subconscious must have known I wanted something luxurious to share the night with her, and it had delivered.
How did the pill work? Did it keep me from waking up? Was it affecting my creativity? Because I hadn’t expected this lush decor.
I made a mental note to research the pills later, but for now, I had an unfinished task to complete.
Diane kicked off her shoes and padded towards the tiny mini bar in the center of the room. “Another drink?”
“I’d rather stay sober for this.”
She let out a light laugh. “You can’t get drunk if you don’t want to. But if you change your mind, say the word.” She poured herself a rosy beverage this time and then regarded me with her green eyes. “Still married? You’re not wearing a ring.”
I glanced at my left hand, noting the missing band of metal. “I didn’t take it off.”
A smirk tugged at her lips. “But you wanted to. That’s how it works here. Like magic.” She took a sip from her glass, draining it halfway. Then she waved her hand over it, and it refilled itself.
“Wow! Can I do that?”
“Are you a wizard?” She lightly grazed my cheek with her finger, tracing circles on it.
I turned my head and pressed my lips to her hand.
“It’s amazing that you’re here.” She allowed me to continue with my kisses.
“I can be here every night.”
“And your lovely wife?”
“She can’t be mad at me because of a dream.” I hesitated, fighting the urge to remain loyal to Fiona, even in my dream. “And she’s not always so lovely.”
Diane beamed in response to my answer. She paused to sip from her drink, then she kissed me. A familiar bittersweet taste lingered on her lips, one that I couldn’t quite identify. She entwined her tongue with mine, gracefully caressing and exploring me.
I put my hands on her back and pulled her closer. I had been waiting for this moment for far too long. Her body felt warm against mine.
“You’re so strong,” she whispered into my ear.
I slid my hands to her buttocks and grabbed harder.
“Ouch.”
“I’m sorry.” I loosened my grip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
She laughed. “Silly, you can’t. I’ll feel as much pain as I allow—even if you were to hit me with your fist.”
“I would never do such a thing.”
“Even if I asked?”
“I’d never hurt you, Diane.”
She pulled away, her gaze burning into mine, searching for the truth. “No, you wouldn’t,” she conceded after a moment. “Do you want me like I want you?”
“More. Much more.”
She stepped back and adjusted her dress. “Shall I take it off? Or do you want to help me?”
Her words made my heart race. “You do it.”
“In a normal way? Or with magic?” She closed her eyes, and the dress melted away, revealing only her black underwear.
“How’d you do that?”
“I’m a witch.” She strutted over to the bar and filled her glass with another drink.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she stood there, wearing almost nothing. “Can I do the same trick with my clothes?”
“Sure. Just focus on what you want. But be careful or accidents may happen.”
“Accidents?”
“Nothing life-threatening.” She chuckled.
I paused, my analytical mind scrutinizing the scenario.
Although it was my dream, it still had the ability to surprise me. The pill seemed to allow both my conscious and subconscious thoughts to shape the dream, but it was the latter that provided unforeseen surprises. Diane—as my creation—knew it was a dream because I did. She acted like a witch because I already considered her magical. Even though it was a metaphor, here it translated into reality. Have I denied myself the same ability by believing I was limited by the rules of logical science? Or was I simply mundane? To become a wizard in this place, I had to let go of my inhibitions and embrace a new identity.
I inhaled deeply, letting my body relax. Focusing on my clothes, I imagined them evaporating away.
I knew it worked as soon as the fresh breeze caressed my bare buttocks, and my erect dick shot up, freed from its constricting fabric. I had forgotten to leave my boxers out of the vanishing act—that must have been what Diane meant by accidents. My face heated as blood rushed through me.
Diane giggled, her gaze traveling over my naked body. “You didn’t lie about the teenage bit,” she emphasized the last word.
“Sorry.” I tried to shield my dick with my hands, but its over-enthusiastic state made it rather tricky.
“No.” She swatted away my hands. “Let me handle this.” She encircled it with her slender hand, her fingers clasping tight.
I gasped. What a contrast to Fiona asking me to handle it myself.
“See? Only pleasure,” Diane murmured, her eyes burning.
“Mmm.”
“Now lie down, and I’ll do the rest.” Without releasing her grip, she pushed me onto the sofa.
I sunk into the pillows and looked up at her. Her breasts, straining against her lacy bra, threatened to break free.
“If it’s unfair I’m wearing this while you’re naked, I can make it go away.”
“No, it’s perfect.”
Her lips curved up into a mischievous smirk. “And this tool you have here.” She tightened her hand around it. “It’s… something.”
“I haven’t had sex for a while.” I managed to choke out.
“Oh…” She frowned. “Then let’s not delay any longer.” She leaned down, and with her tongue, started tracing patterns across the top of my dick.
I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the sensations, but one thought kept nagging at me: if she was my creation—which essentially meant she was me—did it mean I had just gone down on myself?
ten
I awoke in an exuberant mood, stunning Fiona when I prepared breakfast for her. Once she had left, I jumped into the shower, reminiscing about my night with Diane. The blowjob she gave me had only been our starting point. We’d done many things, some in the shower.
The scalding water ran over my skin like a river of pleasure. I closed my eyes and let my fingertips wander, imagining Diane’s delicate hands exploring me. I moved with the rhythm of the steamy water, lost in the moment, following a steady beat until… Fiona’s words from the day before about ‘handling it myself’ came crashing back to me. What an anti-climax. Would her words always invade my little… me-times? Good thing I found an alternative. The only issue was that I’d already used my only pill.
I wasn’t in a rush to get to work since I set my own schedule. After breakfast and a cup of coffee, I got into the car and hunted for more pills.
The first few stores I visited had run out of the magazines. I initially checked the shelves myself, feeling awkward about requesting what I needed. Yet, when I didn’t find what I searched for, I started asking the shop owners. Remarkably, they never ridiculed me, only apologized, saying the Dream Lover’s shipments had been coming late recently.
This store was my eleventh this morning.
“Got any Dream Lover mags?” I asked the shopkeeper, without so much as glancing at the shelves.
“Blimey, mate. Sorry to say, but we’re all out of it.” The guy didn’t lift his head from the newspaper.
“Not again. I’ve been searching for three hours. How many shops will I have to visit today?”
The shopkeeper looked at me and slowly folded his paper. “Been gettin’ a proper beating, innit?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve been there meself. I had this bird, and we were shagging every night like rabbits. But one night, I was out of me pills and missed the action. Just one bloody night. You’d think she would’ve waited for me, right? But nah, she goes and gets herself another bloke. Can ya even believe it?”
“What do you mean?” I strained to comprehend the man’s strange vernacular, but his rapid-fire speech made it even more challenging. “You could’ve thought of her again. Did you not focus hard enough?”
“Turns out she was with some other geezer already, mate.”
“But how? I mean, she existed only in your mind. How could anyone else meet her if she was part of your imagination?”
The guy looked me up and down and chuckled. “Oi, you’ve nicked me pill ‘ow many times now, mate?”
“Only once. Does it matter?”
“Have you read the manual, the disclaimer, and all the other waffle?”
“A friend explained everything to me. What instructions do you need for taking one pill?”
“Do you know how the pill does its magic?”
“Do you? I mean, who does? I plan to do some research to learn how it affects our brains, but—”
“Innit lush, mate? You pop the pill, she pops the pill, and off ya go on a jolly in the dreamworld, not a care for any sprogs. Proper mint, I tell ya.”
My mind raced, not only with the translation of his words but also with their implications. It couldn’t be the truth. Just couldn’t.
“You didn’t know?” The guy grinned. “Did you reckon it was all in your napper?”
“Wait!” Sudden coldness enveloped my entire body as if I had jumped into a half-frozen lake during mid-winter. “The magazines for women… They take the pill so that—”
“Got it now?”
“No way.” I shivered. “No fucking way.”
“Can’t catch your missus cheating if she’s still lying in your bed.”
“What? Never mind. I need that magazine. Right now.”
The shopkeeper frowned. “I may have a wee bit left. I’m saving it for me mate, but for the right price, I can make an exception.”
“And the right price is?”
“Two-hundred.”
“For one magazine? Last time I checked, that’s what you paid for five copies!”
The guy shrugged and turned away from me.
“I’ll take it,” I said, resigned.
He turned back with a twinkle in his eye. “Cash only, mate.”
“Why am I not surprised?” I reached for my wallet.
eleven
This time, Diane wore a miniskirt and a tiny t-shirt that barely contained her breasts, making what I had to do even harder for me. I desperately wanted to fling myself at her and repeat what we did last time. But she was an actual person, and not a figment of my imagination. The implications of any intimate act were entirely different now, especially when Fiona was concerned.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked her as she perched on my lap, her bare knees tempting my hand to caress them.
“Tell you what?”
“That this is real. You’re real, not just a part of my memories.”
“What do you mean?” She frowned, then her jaw dropped. “Oh, shit. You thought it was only a dream?”
I nodded.
“But…haven’t you read the manual? Or done some research?”
“Everyone keeps talking about the goddamn manual as if it were some kind of holy scripture.”
“You should’ve read it before getting into the dream.” She rose from my lap and sat beside me.
“I know.” I glanced down at her slim ankles, then up her long legs, ending at her mini-skirt-covered thighs. Did she wear anything under that skirt?
“Wow.” She shook her head. “When we had sex, you thought I was just…”
Again, I nodded.
“Well… Does it matter?”
“I cheated on my wife.”
She gently touched my cheek. “Does it matter?”
I frowned. “It matters to me. I’ve never done it before. Is it normal for you to be disloyal to your partners?”
She withdrew her hand. “Does that mean you won’t fuck me anymore?”
“Can you phrase it differently, please?”
“Like ‘have sex’ or ‘make love’?”
I uttered a loud groan. Everything was less complicated when she wasn’t real. For years, I had fantasized about her so much that it felt like there was a unique bond between us. But that was an illusion. Wishful thinking. Now that I had accomplished the task, she was no longer Miss Zeigarnik to me. I should just… forget about her.
Who was I kidding?
“How is it even possible?” I mused aloud. “I bet thousands of women take these pills, and the first night I tried it, I’m seeing you?”
She sighed. “If both parties imagine each other at the same time, they usually meet in the dream.”
“So last night you thought of me?”
“I might have thought about you once in a while. Coincidence.”
“Serendipity more likely. And you could’ve called me. We could’ve met in the real world. We still can.”
“We can’t.”
“Why?”
“It was fun. Even if we only met once. I thought we could do more than that. Pity.” She placed her hand on my thigh and looked into my eyes. “I enjoyed last night. Nobody has made me feel anything like that before. Even in a dream.”
I suspected she said it to comfort me, but my poor heart started beating faster. The freedom I felt with her last night had encouraged me to try things I had never done before, but only because I thought I was with someone who didn’t exist, or at least wasn’t there in the same way. There were some things we did I wouldn’t even trust Fiona with.
And, Fiona? Before I knew the true identity of my ‘dream lover’, I wanted to tell my wife about the pill so that we’d have a good laugh. Maybe even take the pills together? It could’ve revived her sexual desire.
But now? She’d never forgive me for what I did. Not a chance she’d believe I hadn’t researched it thoroughly as a scientist. How could I have been so stupid?
Diane leaned in, brushing my hair with her hand. “What’s going on in that gigantic head of yours?”
“I’m trying to decide how to explain it to my wife.”
She snorted. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you insane? Why would you even consider it?”
“Do you think it’s a bad idea?”
“Unless you’re an idiot, yes.”
twelve
I shut my eyes, my brain whirling with Diane’s words. Lying to Fiona was an alien concept to me, but Diane appeared unconcerned by it.
I glanced at her. “Do you have a husband?”
She avoided my gaze.
“You won’t say?”
She rose, walked to the window, and looked outside. What could she be seeing out there in the dream? Dragons flying in the sky? I smiled at the thought.
“So you can have sex with me, but you won’t tell me anything about yourself?” I had to ask her these questions. They haunted me.
Still staring out of the window, she shrugged.
“How can I contact you in reality? Do you have the same phone number as before?”
She faced me. “Why would you want to contact me in the real world?”
“Are you involved with someone? Any kids?”
A hint of mockery crossed her lips as she smiled.
“You don’t trust others easily, do you?” I pressed.
“Why should I trust you with my personal details?”
“We had sex.”
“A one-night stand.”
“I’m not some random guy you picked up in a club. We’ve known each other for years.”
“We spoke on the phone and met once. Nothing happened between us.”
“I shared plenty about myself with you last night.”
“Only because you thought you were talking to yourself.”
“Still, you wanted to see me again. And you knew how the pill worked, so it wasn’t just a one-time thing.”
She smiled. “It was fun. Why not repeat it?”
I looked away. “I can’t. Not now.”
“That I can see.” She waved her hand, and her clothes transformed into a sweatshirt and long pants. “Anything else you want to discuss before I clear off?”
“Last night with you was the best of my life.”
A look of sorrow swept across her face.
“And it’s not just the sex,” I continued. “It’s how I felt when I was with you. No reservations. No holding back. As if… everything was just between me and… me.” I laughed. “It sounds stupid, I know.”
“Doesn’t sound stupid to me.” Her frown deepened and her eyes pierced me with intensity. “How did you feel when you discovered it was really me?”
“I thought I’d never be able to look you in the eye.”
“Why not?”
“For two reasons.” I took a deep breath. “First, I never explained why I stopped calling you after the—”
“I don’t need your explanation.”
“And because I’m weird.”
“Weird?”
“Some of the things we did last night—”
“Stop it! You’re acting like a teen. I’ve seen many guys here. You’re not weird, trust me.”
“Thanks, I guess. The thing is… I’ll never have with Fiona what I had with you.”
She reached out and squeezed my hand. “That’s… sad. If you feel this way, why are you still with her?”
“Because I love her.”
“You sure about that?”
I placed my hand over hers. “I don’t want to talk about my wife. I want to talk about us. We can see each other. In real life, I mean. As friends.”
“Just friends?”
“Well…”
“That’s impossible.”
“But why?”
She got up and poured herself a drink. I never noticed when she materialized a minibar. Was that her escape? Drinking? Was she an alcoholic? A drug addict? Was that why she didn’t want to see me outside the dreams?
I stood behind her. The heat radiating from her body made me feel warm, even though we were not touching. I gently clutched her arms, drawing her close so that her back rested against my chest.
“I don’t care how you look now or who you became,” I said softly to her ear. “I want to see you in real life.”
“I can’t.”
“But why?”
“I don’t see people in real life.”
“You don’t see people… What does it even mean?”
“Drop it,” she commanded in a warning tone. “Or I’ll leave now.”
“Can you do this? Leave the dream?”
“You haven’t read the manual, so you wouldn’t know.”
“But I have. Before I joined you here tonight. And there was nothing there about leaving early. I would’ve noticed.”
“It is in the women’s edition.”
“There goes gender equality. Why’s that?”
“I guess the manufacturer assumed women might need to escape earlier.”
“That’s so—”
“I know.”
“How do you do it, anyway?”
“Leave? A safe word. You don’t even have to speak it aloud.”
“What is the safe word?”
“The moment I say it, I’ll disappear.”
“Then don’t.” I pulled her closer, encircling her with my arms.
Her body tensed. “You said you didn’t want to have sex.”
“I said I couldn’t. But I want it so much. And I don’t want you to disappear. Ever again.”
She relaxed and nestled her head against my shoulder.
I wanted to kiss her on the neck, but held back. It would be my conscious decision now. Unfair to Fiona or Diane.
As if she could read my thoughts, she asked: “Have you decided if you tell her about us?”
“Not yet.”
“That’s your call, of course. I wouldn’t.”
“I’m aware of that.”
She sighed. “Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“That you won’t look for me in real life.”
“Why not?”
“Do you swear?”
The tension in her body told me how important my response was. I delayed my answer for a few moments, relishing in her warmth and closeness. Finally, I said the only thing I could: “I cannot promise that.”
She withdrew from my arms at once. Before she slipped away, she locked eyes with me, almost as if daring me to seek her out. Or was it only my projection? Perhaps she only wanted to remember my face one last time.